Greetings to all of our dear friends and fans! Courtney, our bright and witty assistant manager is leaving us after over two years of grueling service to get a dual degree in ethnomusicology and yacht architecture at the University of Hawaii. She will be closely monitored for deviant behavior, lest she publish her copious diary from the past few years entitled "Memoirs From the Virtual Nuthouse or How I Worked For Peanuts For Patty and the Insane Nields Posse along with some Other Kooks." Ah well. She is destined for great things, and we will miss her, her tenacious and intrepid enthusiasm, her sincere convictions about caffeine and her very classy tourbooks. I tell you all this to explain why I, Nerissa, am sitting here in Patty's office using Courtney's old account to send you your update. See, I'm on vacation, which I don't exactly know how to do. At first it was nice; I did my laundry, watched TV, yelled at the Republicans and also my dogs (they peed on the futon--the dogs that is, not the Republicans), pretended to be Cindy Wilson of the b-52's, finally got around to answering over a month worth of e-mails, watered my plants a few times and then, when I had done everything that didn't require my right brain that I was supposed to do and was face to face with what I really HAD to do (write songs) I immediately thought, "Hmm. What can I possibly do besides this? I know! I'll go work for Patty at $5 hour!" She gladly accepted my services which at least on the initial phone spec were going to be about 8 hours per week. I was Full of Enthusiasm! I would repress my feelings with mindless office work! I would commute to an actual job! I would get to justify driving past Starbucks and drinking a quadruple Grande decaf Caffe Americano twice a day with impunity! I would be a real American of the Twenty First Century! Then Monday came. It was Labor Day, and loyal union worker that I am, naturally I didn't come into work, even though I'd told Patty I could only ever work on Mondays and half of Tuesdays (see, I usually gig the other days of the week). And then a clear, brilliant Tuesday dawned, an unrecognizable daughter to her hot flash hazy humid mother, Monday, and I ran naked out into the early morning chilly dew and sang "Take This Job and Shove It!" NO, not really! Really I called Dar and told her I had writer's block and she told me to court the muse, not the idea and to enjoy being an incredibly sensitive artist. Oh, and also to feel my feelings. I hate that. So, long story short, I showed up at quarter of five with Starbucks as a peace offering to Patty and inputed ten names into the e-mail mailing list. Then I got this idea to write you all a letter, and oh, well, now it's time for me to go! It's six o'clock, and Joe Hill did not die so that I would have to work overtime for the Man. Hope to see you all at the shows! I promise to play a new song THIS MONTH!
Love, Nerissa
© 2000, reproduced with permission