I think that I shall never see
A Nooker as lovely as Coney
Conehead with his bad-ass pose
Standing tall at Nieldsy shows
Impossible spellings that refuse to drip
He conquers Bruce on every trip
If he were immortal he would be
Jesus Christ or Muhammed Ali
He's so tall I couldn't feel shorter
I hope that he let's me buy him a porter
He sleeps with his headphones strapped to his head
Listening to Kennedys, Dobbs, and the Dead
I bet he could sing, like me 
But he won't
And his mouth is smiling
And his eyes won't shut
And he's looking for a piece
But he's always nice
And he's Nieldsy-Easy and not really shy
And he'll never age
And he'll never die
And I think that I don't want to see
A Nook bereft of Coneheadity!