You know, the great thing about an e-mail list is that you never really know what the truth is about everyone. There's a whole lot of trust needed.
Granted, the Nook is a bit different because the internet side bleeds into "real" (meaning physical) life in terms of meeting people at concerts etc, but still...
How do people know who other people are? If you've never met a nooker, and especially if you've never been to a concert, how do you know that any of these people actually exist? What if it's all just one great lie?
With that, I bring you...
Conspiracy Theory #23: rekooN
Unbeknownst to many, the nook is actually divided into 2 groups: there is a cult called the rekooN which some so-called "nookers" belong to, and then there is everyone else. The rekooN are a group of twisted souls who have made an entire imaginary world around a band.
Each member of the rekooN is given a character card upon admission. This card states their character's name, age, looks, key personality traits, relation to the band (how long they've known of them, how well they know them, etc) and relationships to other characters. It is each member's duty to project this character on the list, trying to see how well they can portray what's on the card. They come and go as needed, taking on different characters. Why do you think that people "leave" the nook? It's all a game for them, you see…
There is no diversity among the actual members of the cult, of course. They are universally all Dirty Old Men. Except for the one playing trapper john, who is, of course, in reality an adorable little girl.
How do you know who's in the cult? Well, to begin with, anyone who's mentioned meeting other "Nookers" at a concert is necessarily part of the rekooN, because in reality they would certainly never meet at concerts.
Also, anyone who has a personality that is too clearly defined is probably a fraud - I mean, what real person could possibly make their personality that clear over e-mail? :ž (Oh, and for those of you who have seen pictures of "Nookers" at "concerts", they're obviously scanned magazine cut-outs.)
So...if you've never met a nooker, how do you know that they are who they say they are? How do you know that it's not all one extensive mindgame, a largish group of people trying to fool as many music lovers as possible into believing in their little game? Are you being sucked into the trap?
Signed
~R (in reality a dirty old man)
© 2001